Licorice Bullets......

After loudly proclaiming that he needs to do a poo:

MasterJ: "MUMMY!!!! I'm doing a mega poo"
Me: " ok tell me when you're finished"
MasterJ : "but it's not coming out mummy"

after a minute and a tiny poo

MasterJ: "look mummy little ones....like daddy's licorice bullets. Hehehe daddy's licorice bullets are in the toilet!!"

Mens Business

Tonight we were at the hockey stadium watching my team play. MasterJ needed a wee, so we went down the tunnel to the change room toilets. After we came back out, the mens team were getting ready to play, so they all started coming out of the tunnel. MasterJ exclaimed:

"Mummy, all the men have done wee's and now they're coming out to play!"

New 'Puter

On realising I have a new computer.....

MasterJ: "That's a good new puter mummy"
Me: "Yeah"
MasterJ: "It's got an apple on it!"
Me: "Yeah"
MasterJ: "Do we eat apples?
Me: "Uhuh"
MasterJ: " Do we eat choccies?"
Me: "Uhuh"
MasterJ: "Do we eat chippies?"
Me: "Uhuh"
MasterJ: "Do we eat tissues?"
Me: "Uhuh"
MasterJ: "Noooooooooooo"

Big Boys Motorbikes

Out of the blue as we got in the car from grocery shopping....

MasterJ: "I'm going to ride a motorbike"
Me: "Yeah"
MasterJ: "No, I can't ride a motorbike, I'm too little"
.....
MasterJ: "Only big boys ride motorbikes"

Too cold in the water

Going on the bridge over the water....

MasterJ: "Look mummy, the water!!"
Me: "Yeah"
MasterJ: "Can we go for a swim in the water mummy?"
Me: "No"
MasterJ: "Why?"
Me: "Because it is too cold to swim in the water"
MasterJ: "Well can we get a boat then?"
Me: "No darling"
MasterJ: "I get a boat like Diego.....Daddys got a boat at home!"

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

We drove over the train track............

MasterJ: "There's no trains on the track today"
Me: "No, no trains today"
Me: "Were there any cars on the track"
MasterJ: "Nooooo Mummy, cars don't go on the track!"
Me: "Oh, where do cars go then?"
MasterJ: "On the road!!!"
Me" "Oh, what else goes on the road?"
MasterJ: "trucks and motorbikes and cars"
Me: "Noooo, they don't. Cars and trucks go up in the sky"
MasterJ: "Noooo, they don't"
Me: "Well what goes in the sky then?"
MasterJ: "Planes and helicopters"
Me: "Nooooo, planes and helicopters go in the water"
MasterJ: "No they don't, they go in the sky!!"
Me: "So what goes in the water then?"
MasterJ: "ummmm....ducks"
MrJ: "What goes in the sky AND the water"
MasterJ: "ummmmmm, I don't know"
MrJ: "Duckies!!!"
MasterJ: "yeah"
Me: "Do ducks go on the train tracks"
MasterJ: "NO!!!"
Me: "oh, why don't ducks go on the train tracks?
MasterJ: "No they can't go on the train tracks because the train will come and run them over!"
Me: "Oh, very clever!"
Me: "So what goes on the road?"
MasterJ: "Cars and trucks"
Me: "Do we go on the road?"
MasterJ: "Noooo, we can't go on the road. Cars on the road and we will get run over!"

The sun hasn't gone to bed.....

MasterJ: "It's very dark mummy"
Me: "Yes darling, the sun has gone to bed"
MasterJ: "No Mummy, it can't go to bed yet"
Me: "Why can't the sun go to bed?"
MasterJ: "Because it has to have a bath first"
Me: "Oh, so it can have a bath and go to bed then?"
MasterJ: "No, it can't go to bed then!"
Me: "Why not?"
MasterJ: "Because it hasn't had a tickle yet!!"